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I blamed myself when I was harassed

  • Jun 1, 2021
  • 3 min read

Im not one to bring negative things into the chat but this is something I felt like I needed to write about. So not too long ago I was waiting to get food from a food truck late at night. Now really the time of day doesn't matter cause what I am talking about could've happen at any time of the day, daytime, mid-day, nighttime, whatever it could've happened wherever whenever. All of a sudden there were these two older guys that also ordered from the truck and when I say older I would say they had at least 10 years on me. They started with a very innocent question of "I like your ring where'd you get it from", and the started going into deeper questions like "I see your pants there, is it just the buttons, that's pretty scandalous." At this moment I was scared for my life, I really started wondering what are these guys trying to do to me. So of course I texted my sister to come join me and asked the food truck guy if I can stand by him in the meantime. That didn't solve the issues going on in my head at the time though. Immediately I just wanted to go home and get change. I didn't think nothing of how disgusting the guys were or how they were treating me. I automatically thought I need to get rid of my clothes they're too "scandalous." Now let me describe what I was wearing to you...I was wearing a crop top with very high waisted mom jeans and a jacket, so really no skin what so ever other than the skin on my face was showing. So why were these guys being so disgusting and why did I automatically think that it's because of what I was wearing? That's because it's what society makes you think. Its always "she was asking for it" just because of the clothes she has on. But was I asking for it? Cause really I didn't even know I was going out that day. I put on that clothing thinking that I was going to stay indoors, maybe even do some cleaning. But then I was asked if I wanted to go out and I said yes. I wasn't going to change into something else when I was already comfy, I didn't even put on makeup, and if anyone knows me I always put on makeup when I go out, but I didn't that night. Now here I am scared, not being able to go to sleep, ripping off my clothes because I feel disgusting and crying into my bed just because two guys just wanted to have their fun late at night, and what am I doing overall? Blaming it on myself. I know I shouldn't, but when you're scared you have nothing else to think about but to think, what if I didn't go out or what if I did change my clothes or what if I didn't answer that first question? It's hard to really think about if I'm being honest, but overall I know it's not my fault. I know that if I did change my clothes they would've still did what they did, I know that if I didn't answer that first question they would have continued to ask me questions anyway, and I know that if I didn't go out that night this would have just happened another time or another day. There's no reason for me to blame my self or for any female who encounters the same situation to do the same. So if you are a women reading this just remember that it is not your fault and that you will get through this. If you are a man reading this, please remember this example as what not to be like when it comes to all women, we deserve to be treated with respect and told that all of us look beautiful not just our pants or even what's in them.

 
 
 

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